…and i’m an addict…

There is a weird kind of power in that phrase.

I am an addict.

It means that I recognize that there is something that was probably once just an interest or curiosity, that I fed that interest until it became habitual, and eventually it demanded more than the careful feeding I thought I could manage.

It means that I am defective, and willing to admit it.

It means that I recognize that I am in need of help, and I will find it.

It means that I will surrender my will to something greater, because I’ve already given it over to something lesser and found that to be unsatisfactory.

The nature of my addiction? I don’t think it matters all that much. Addicts start with one obsession, then transfer to the next as they fight symptoms rather than causes. But just to be clear, I struggle with sex, pornography, and food issues.

Some would say sexual addiction and pornography are the same issue; I disagree. But I’ll give that a greater explanation on another day.

My goal in this blog is to provide a viewpoint from someone who was standing with both feet most of the way over the ledge, with maybe the tips of my toes still on some semblance of terra firma, when love rescued me.

I hope that one or two people who are struggling themselves will see something here with which they can identify, and maybe find the strength to continue their own fight.

I hope that writing these posts reminds me of where I was and how far I have come; and how I should never let down my guard.

I’m also hoping that I can convince a few other people who have walked this road to submit their own thoughts. There is strength in numbers, and there is a lot of wisdom that I’ve found in hearing about the path others have followed.

Any comments will be previewed before posting. I won’t risk this becoming a trigger for people who are deep in the struggle.